From The Ashes, to Begin Anew
by The Lady Caroline Muze
Summary: it starts out kinda numb. she changed from what she used to be. she was once emotional. then bad things happened and she changed. she has nothing emotion wise but the two hungers now her childe must return her back to what she was before. lemon later on!


**Author's notes; I know this starts out a bit slow but forgive me! The story starts out boring, but it gets better I promise! This is my first story so please tell me what you think and help me find any errors if the re are any at all! Thank you for you help and patience next chapter will be up as soon as possible.**

**term: 'childe' - it belongs to a vampire terminology means a turned vampire who is bound to a liege with a special connection to another (possibly more powerful) vampire to lead it through the vampire life for a better transition.  
**

_Chapter one: No Heart to feel  
_

_  
_It seems like the world is falling away from me, like I am slowly rising up into the moonlit sky. I look over the events of my life, in silence. There is nothing worth going to heaven for, at least not in my opinion. So 'why' I ask myself in thought 'am I rising into the sky?'

The forest began to disappear from my vision closely fading to black. I was losing consciousness the pitiful events of my life flashing before my eyes. Tears streaked from my eyes at a last attempt to freedom. I had begun to lose the feeling in my body. 'Soon,' I thought smiling 'soon I would be gone from this place. I will not have to wonder any longer why I am a burden.' The smile I wore faltered for a second I felt arms holding me. Maybe I was dreaming again? I smiled again a true smile I had lost all senses and could no longer taste the blood on my tongue nor hear the world around me. I could not see or feel a thing. The world was nothing to me at this moment. Deep sadness welled up from inside as I screamed out one last deafening cry of sadness. I knew I was cry I could not hold it in any longer.

Years of torture and inflicted pain came running to the surface. And then ever thing was black. Blessedly black. I did not dream I did not feel. I did not see. I was nothing and so was the world. I could not remember who I had been or who I was. I felt like I was in darkness yet I could not tell if I was or not. I could not see my self.

And then all I felt was a painful burning sensation through out my body. I tried to cry out in pain, but I had no idea if it had worked. I tried to move around. I tread to make it go away, but nothing worked. I begged for some one to make it stop. The pain was so immense that I had no idea what I did. Shouldn't I have died by now? Was I dreaming? Is this real? What did this?

I didn't know what had occurred then suddenly everything stopped and turned back to the blessed blackness. I didn't think I didn't feel. I didn't even think I existed any more. I and everything was nothing.

Suddenly I sat up it was late evening when I shot up from under ten or so quilts that were once inside my closet. A Cloaked figure was standing on the very small ball that topped the bed posts. He was more a shadow then anything else.

An echoed neutral voice spoke from the body of the shadowy creature "That was very stupid of you to do."

I hissed at its direction. As I pulled my self into a better position "kiss my ass you freak. What I do is none of your business. You should have just left me there." When I tried to stand up I realized that he had bound my legs to the bed. I wasn't moving with out the things permission.

I was not going to let some freak keep me alive and prisoner in my own home. My hand slid under my pillow and drew out the gun I that I had hidden in there. I was going to get out of this world one way or another.

When I pulled the gun up I didn't aim it at him. I aimed it at myself. I aimed and pulled the trigger. I felt nothing but the weight of the gun in my hand and the covers around me. And then before I knew it I was pinned to the wall above my bed my feet dangling below us and the floor some where down below.

My hands were pinned to the wall next to either side of my head, and my whole body was exposed. I had not a shred of clothes covering my body. I just stared at it with cold cruel eyes. "Let me give you a hint little one. You will not be able to kill your self. I will always be with you from now on, and there is nothing you can do about that, so just stop or I really will take away all your favorite toys. Do you want me to treat you like a child, girl?" it watched my face for a hint of an answer and when I did not speak or changed my expression, its grip tightened harshly.

I threw my head back closed my eyes and gasped. That was supposed to do something other then what it had just done. It was supposed to hurt, and nothing about that did. I did not blush I just glared at it. "Let me go." It was an order.

I slid down the wall back to my bed below. I was only mildly surprised that it had listened.

"Why are you here?" I glared at it.

The thing looked at me with a shadow covered face. It would not show me what it was supposed to look like. I had not asked on the off chance that there may be a good enough reason. It only said one thing to me as tried to see inside the shadows. "A Promise to some one special." That was all he said about that.

And then I reached out with my mind and felt that something was connected to me. "_Come here." _I spoke inside my head at him very blandly not feeling anything but boredom from the male that the connection was coming from. A knock on the door soon followed my request. The thing turned to me and said "I see you do not miss anything."

"I am a no newborn!" I snapped angrily I felt a giggle on the other side of the door. Who ever was out there still waited to come to me; just like I had ordered him to in the first place. "What did you do to me?" he forced me to make a bound with some one else, while I was dying.

"You know what I have done. I know you do. I can see it in your face. But do not worry I picked the perfect candidate for your childe, I believe you know him already from past experience." He smiled and unlocked the door with a swing of his shadowy arm.

I rolled my eyes annoyed "come in already Don!" I snapped pissed that this was forced on me.

Don sauntered in like he knew he still had power over me. The look he gave me was purely predatory I was still his favorite play thing no matter what had happened to me.

Times had changed me from the girl he was used to being near. "_Come and hold me my Childe. Come comfort your sire." _I gave him another order through the link that connected us mentally. I could see him grimace slightly at the way things have occurred, but the grimace disappeared and he shrugged it off.

"You two already have a good enough relationship to have things work out with more sync seeing as I had to posses you to make sure it got done before you died." It explained perturbed that I had been able to make my first Childe do things quickly and easily with only a minor irritation to the childe. I could tell he was wondering what had happened to make me so powerful in the first place.

"I am not going to explain anything to you." I said coolly to it as Don pulled me into his body and began to massage my arms, shoulders and back.

"It is really none of your business what goes on in my life. Everything except the promise you made is to be fulfilled do you have that fully understood, shadow?" I smirked I knew I had control over him, and know he knew I had known to.

I could feel the anger coming off of it in waves as it spoke very clearly. "Yes I understand."

My stomach grumbled harshly, and all my patience flew out the window. "Leave out of this room protect the house, and do not come back to me unless it is for good reason. No one comes to see me."

The shadow seemed to bow and then I grabbed my childe's hand as he had begun to stand. He knew what I needed before I had to ask. He left me to cling to his one hand for a moment while he unbuttoned his camouflage jeans and slid his zipper down.

"Donald," I paused and making sure that the shadow really left out of the distance. "why have you agreed to this? Even knowing that you won't be able to go back to what you were with out speculations?"

He smiled that dark smirking smile saying in all honesty "that reason is my own. Now, lets continue with this play time my sire." I yanked him forward with a wave of my hand and topped him. Chuckling I said "in public just call me your lady. Alone with me, you have to call me by my real name. not my vampire name, not yet at least."

I slid my hands up his chest until I got to the collar of his shirt. My hands rested there for a few seconds before I ripped it in half.

I smiled once evilly "I may not have my heart but your still God damned sexy for being what you are."


End file.
